Ted

Ted is the story of a lonely young boy who is not only lacking in friends but lacking in the ability to socially function, makes a special wish upon a star that his much loved teddy bear comes to life and is his best friend for life.  The boy’s wish comes true and thus starts the adventures of two friend together forever.

All very sweet, right?  Yes it is until Ted becomes famous for being a magical talking bear and teen hood sets in, bringing mischievousness and dirty mishaps for both the friends.

Cue modern day Johnny (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (voiced by Seth McFarlane), beer swilling, stinky farting, obnoxious stoners.  Obsessed with Flash Gordon, they watch it over and over, getting more and more stoned daily.  When Johnny’s job and love life with Lori (Mila Kunis) start to become impaired by his extremely close friendship with Ted, Johnny decides to man up, take life and love seriously and distances himself from Ted, forcing him to move out and get his own place.

Slowly Ted and Johnny start to spend every day together again and Lori offers him an ultimatum than will change his life.

Firstly let me say, this film is vulgar, disgusting and juvenile so if you don’t like a fart/sex joke, don’t watch it.  I, however, bloody loved it.  Literally had me laughing so loud at times, I thought I was the only one laughing as all I could hear was myself.  The jokes and vulgarity come in so thick and fast that you can’t even breathe from laughing so hard.

It isn’t smart or clever and does feel like a really long live action Family Guy episode at times, but I haven’t seen a comedy like that in ages.  Not since Four Lions have I laughed so hard.  Not always because it’s funny, because it forces you to stop being so uncomfortable if controversial things are said/done.  I have to say I was so uncomfortable at times, I couldn’t do anything but laugh my ass off!

Wahlberg and Kunis are both funny and charming as the loved up couple, with some great cameos from Flash Gordon himself and a few others I will not mention as they are too funny to spoil.  Seth McFarlane is the stand out star as Ted, the vulgar little bear.  There are boundaries that you never expect a cute bear to cross, but he does and never comes back!  Listen out for the Parsnip comment, that one got me by surprise and I was in fits of uncontrollable laughter for quite some time.

If you are looking for a cheap laugh at things you would normally only laugh at inside your head, watch this film.  It makes bad things acceptable all because a little cute teddy bear says it.

The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises is the last in a special Batman trilogy directed by Chris Nolan.  Those that have seen Batman Begins and The Dark Knight will be familiar with his style, hard hitting, full of action, dramatic beyond belief.  Taking most of the comic out of the adaptation but leaving the camp comedy in.

I cried watching Batman Begins, the emotional loss of Wayne's parents really got to me.  I was emotional watching The Dark Knight, sad over the loss of Heath Ledger after his finest work and the slow death of Batman the hero into Batman the fugitive.

The Dark Knight Rises is the fantastic finale with a twist.  The action and acting faultless.  Bruce Wayne after many years of becoming a recluse, comes out of the shadows to reclaim his city after new villain Bane wreaks havoc across Gotham and brings it to its knees.

Bringing the old crew back together, Wayne with the help of Alfred becomes fully operational as Batman, suffers a setback when he realises his 8 year hiatus has left him in substandard fitness, he is left with a dilemma while the city is under siege.

The action is flawless as is the story arc to the climactic finish.  It is an amazing film and I could watch it again.  It is however flawed in a few ways that makes it miss its top spot and only gets 4 stars from me.

I had hoped Christian Bale would get rid of the comedy voice but low and behold its back, lower and camper than ever.  It ruins the character so much and would have preferred him keeping Wayne’s voice making him far more real.  Tom Hardy didn’t even need to be in the film at all.  With the mask that almost completely covers his face, we never really see his face long enough to see him ‘act’ through the mask.  Instead we see a rather beefy man with the comedy voice that could have been just about any wrestler out there with a voice that can lead in any E4 show very loudly.  Hardy was wasted in this role, it would have been good to see him without the mask to see the man before the mask and add to his character.

Controversially I didn’t like Anne Hathaway as Catwoman.  Sure she can switch between the girl next door to the pussy cat to the hard faced bitch quite quickly but she doesn’t have the sex appeal and raw raunchiness that Michelle Pffieffer had/has as Catwoman in the earlier films.  I do think she is a beautiful woman but she always has that girl next door look and can’t do slutty nearly as well as Pfieffer can.  That said, she is great as Batman’s ally and provides a bit of fun in an otherwise dark film.

There could have easily had about half an hour cut out of the middle of the film, it didn’t add too much to the story or action for me and wasted too much time.

Very unhappy with the fact that the amount of money spent on this film can only supply some substandard CGI in too many places.  If it’s not good, don’t put it in the film.

Despite all the bad flaws, I loved the plot twists at the end in the last half hour or so, even though much of it was alluded to throughout the film, they weren’t any less enjoyable or surprising.  I will be honest, I did love the first and second film more but the standout performances from Joseph Gordon Levitt and Michael Caine were quite amazing and made it all worthwhile.

A fantastic film if you are willing to let a few things go.  That said I am going to see it again in the cinema.  And there aren’t that many films I would see twice at the cinema, so that is saying something.

Friends with Kids

Friends with Kids is the tale of a couple of singleton best friends who decide to have a child together so they don't miss out on parenthood when neither of them are able to find a suitable mate.

Don't watch this film.  All the funny people are barely in it at all and the main protagonists are so unlikable, you don't care what happens to them.

This film depressed the shit out of me and reminded me there is no such thing as perfect.  Everything is fraught with pain and arguments, even in the most perfect of relationships.  Grass is never greener.  Its just fine where I am thank you!

Tyrannosaur

Tyrannosaur is the story of two people in equally different and difficult circumstances that form a special bond in their times of need.

Robbed at the Bafta's last year, especially for Best Actress for Olivia Colman's stunning performance as a beaten down wife, this film is not easy to watch.  Its dark from the start, the sun never coming out except when Peter Mullan is in the scenes with Colman.  Only then are there glimmers of hope for the two of them.

Mullan plays a man down trodden by life, the death of his wife sends him into a spiral of self hate and hate for others.  Their new and tender relationship shapes the rest of the story and how they come to help each other through their difficult times.

While it is harrowing (Colman's savage beating by her demeaning bully of a husband comes to mind), it is still tender and emotional in a way that you don't expect.  I cried a few times as the simple nature of their relationship.  Its by no means an easy watch but it is tragically beautiful all the same.

Five Year Engagement

Five Year Engagement is the story of the modern couple. Who meet, fall in love, get engaged, and stay engaged. Forever.

Jason Segel, the master of comedy these days and one of my favourites, writes and co directs this film about a perpetually engaged couple, never really pushing to get married and slowly resenting each other.

Its quite depressing at times, at other beyond stupid.  It wasn't sure if it was a comedy or a drama and not fully succeeding at either.  Unlike Segel's other films, this one stops and stalls so much, you never know what to feel.  Not even Segel naked can bring it back from the brink.

One to avoid.