I am a big horror movie fan (although my tolerance is a lot less the older I get) and always attend FrightFest every year, the 4 day horror extravaganza.
I missed Human Centipede when it was on at FrightFest a couple of years ago as the hype surrounding it sold the film out. Only now has it come through on my Lovefilm account.
So, popcorn at the ready, I sit and press play. Not knowing what to expect, was it more gore or more mind games type thriller, I did not know.
First impressions where that it was extremely budget. The camera work was cheap and tacky. But then what do I expect from a film like this? It goes into small detail about the Mad Scientist and his scientific (and sexual) fascinations with creating Siamese twins and triplets after spending his life's work separating them.
His first experiment was with 3 dogs, ass to mouth to make a long uber-dog. The dogs sadly died shortly after surgery, and for some time the idea festers that pushes him to kidnap 3 adult humans to re-create the experiment. A great deal of time is dedicated to this element of the story. Sourcing and torturing them until they go crazy.
Then he operates and creates the Centipede-Human-daisy chain type thing. This is where it gets a bit nasty, but its the insinuations that are disgusting as your mind takes over.
You want them to escape, but they don't. Mad scientist doesn't think it through and these 3 people fight for their lives. It doesn't end well for all parties.
Overall, its not the best thing I have ever seen but is inventive. I can say I have seen it and its not that good/bad. Human Centipede 2 was banned by BBFC. Not surprising as its about a man who is sexually aroused by the first film and then creates his own 12 human-centipede for his sexual benefits only, using sandpaper on his penis to masturbate with and wrapping barbed wire around it before raping the woman on the end of the centipede. I am not surprised that it was banned, when you take it to another level, it becomes worse. But it is only a film, should we really take it that seriously? The whole concept is ludicrous!
Monday, 11 July 2011
Friday, 24 June 2011
Green Lantern
The biggest pile of shite I have ever seen. Filmed only last year or something and looked ridiculously dated. Ryan Reynolds is a good comedy actor, what was the need to do that crap?
I am sure the comic is far better that the film. Well at least I am hoping so.
I am sure the comic is far better that the film. Well at least I am hoping so.
Exit Through the Gift Shop
An interesting disc popped into my postbox the other day. Exit Through the Gift Shop has been one film I have been wanting to watch for a while. I love Banksy, I love Street Art. It so full of expression and feeling, each bit of art means something different to everyone. And its readily available, you don't have to go to a museum to see it.
So, I got excited. I wanted to see the real life of a graffiti/street artist. Their motivations and their inspirations. Political or emotional driving forces that create such thought provoking work.
The first half of the film was great. Really interesting, particular the sections in Invader. I love seeing the little Invader tiles in Paris and the only one I noticed in London (although there could be more and I haven't found them yet) was on the steps of the entrance to Piccadilly Circus tube station. Although no longer there any more as the steps were reset a few years ago.
The second half told a different story. Focussing on the film maker himself. Now I don't want to give the entire film away, but this section I found dull and uninteresting. Mr MBW created horrible art, full of images that didn't make sense. Mass produced bollocks with no sense of individuality or style. Utter shit.
There is a lot of talk about whether this film was a hoax and the real point of the film was that we are under Banksy/MBW's spell, that it was all a rouse to get the viewer into believing that we are watching the real article when in fact it was all a lie. We were never going to see into the lives of these reclusive street artists. The part of the job is their anonymity. It was all a construct.
This is fine, but I was bored with the construct. The best thing for me was the fabulous song over the opening and end credits. Richard Hawley's wonderful voice on Tonight The Streets Are Ours. It has a lovely Morrissey sound to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jGJavcSJTg
So, I got excited. I wanted to see the real life of a graffiti/street artist. Their motivations and their inspirations. Political or emotional driving forces that create such thought provoking work.
The first half of the film was great. Really interesting, particular the sections in Invader. I love seeing the little Invader tiles in Paris and the only one I noticed in London (although there could be more and I haven't found them yet) was on the steps of the entrance to Piccadilly Circus tube station. Although no longer there any more as the steps were reset a few years ago.
The second half told a different story. Focussing on the film maker himself. Now I don't want to give the entire film away, but this section I found dull and uninteresting. Mr MBW created horrible art, full of images that didn't make sense. Mass produced bollocks with no sense of individuality or style. Utter shit.
There is a lot of talk about whether this film was a hoax and the real point of the film was that we are under Banksy/MBW's spell, that it was all a rouse to get the viewer into believing that we are watching the real article when in fact it was all a lie. We were never going to see into the lives of these reclusive street artists. The part of the job is their anonymity. It was all a construct.
This is fine, but I was bored with the construct. The best thing for me was the fabulous song over the opening and end credits. Richard Hawley's wonderful voice on Tonight The Streets Are Ours. It has a lovely Morrissey sound to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jGJavcSJTg
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Our War: Ambushed
BBC3 recently showed a documentary called Our War, a real life account of the Afghanistan war by the soldiers themselves. From the first few minutes, the VO tells us that many, many hours of footage from the 6 month tour the soldiers did in 2007 are still with the MOD and what we were getting to see is what we are allowed to see.
It is interesting the angle that they take with this one, it presents the facts but does point the finger at the USA and Britain for these unwanted wars. Many men have died from a fight that didn't need fighting. The more our men are out there, the more we are all at risk.
I can't help but feel complete admiration for these young men, some only 17 or 18 years old. Their strength and determination is what gets them through each day. I can't even bear to look at guns they repulse me so much and this is what saves their lives.
On the flipside, I don't believe in war. I believe that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Maybe that is naive or stupid to think that way, but I couldn't ever do what they do. But completely respect that they do that.
It is a real eye opener and fantastic to watch.
It is interesting the angle that they take with this one, it presents the facts but does point the finger at the USA and Britain for these unwanted wars. Many men have died from a fight that didn't need fighting. The more our men are out there, the more we are all at risk.
I can't help but feel complete admiration for these young men, some only 17 or 18 years old. Their strength and determination is what gets them through each day. I can't even bear to look at guns they repulse me so much and this is what saves their lives.
On the flipside, I don't believe in war. I believe that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Maybe that is naive or stupid to think that way, but I couldn't ever do what they do. But completely respect that they do that.
It is a real eye opener and fantastic to watch.
The Hangover: Part Deux
I love The Hangover. Its a well known fact. Unique, very entertaining and downright stupid.
If I am feeling low and need a laugh, that's one of the films I would watch.
Galifianakis is fantastic in the film, a choice role for him. If you have seen any of the 'Between Two Ferns...' sketches, you know that he is a good comic actor. He steals the show throughout the whole film.
The Hangover: Part 2 doesn't change the rules in anyway. The same elements are repeated. As if any one could be that stupid? The variation on the film is that they replaced an actor with a Monkey. A scene stealing monkey that not even Zach Galifianakis can beat for the big laughs.
And really, do I need to see that many lady boy cocks in one film? Really? They success of the first film was that it wasn't that crude, in fact the laughs came from their stupidity and the silly lines from Alan. This one went over the line and tried to hard to get the gags.
I hear there is a third film on the way. If it is as bad as the Transformers 3 trailer I saw this evening, I really despair.
If I am feeling low and need a laugh, that's one of the films I would watch.
Galifianakis is fantastic in the film, a choice role for him. If you have seen any of the 'Between Two Ferns...' sketches, you know that he is a good comic actor. He steals the show throughout the whole film.
The Hangover: Part 2 doesn't change the rules in anyway. The same elements are repeated. As if any one could be that stupid? The variation on the film is that they replaced an actor with a Monkey. A scene stealing monkey that not even Zach Galifianakis can beat for the big laughs.
And really, do I need to see that many lady boy cocks in one film? Really? They success of the first film was that it wasn't that crude, in fact the laughs came from their stupidity and the silly lines from Alan. This one went over the line and tried to hard to get the gags.
I hear there is a third film on the way. If it is as bad as the Transformers 3 trailer I saw this evening, I really despair.
Saturday, 11 June 2011
X Men - First Class.
The X Men movies are one of the few comic book adaptations that in my opinion were entertaining, camp and full of fun. A bit of action, suspense and mystery all thrown into one bundle of films. Nothing to take too seriously, but worth watching.
I didn't enjoy the third film in the trilogy as much as the first one, and the Wolverine prequel is absolute tosh. Almost like they couldn't afford to make the film after paying for Hugh Jackman's salary.
I watched the trailer for X Men: First Class and was instantly turned off. Why would I want to watch another X Men film when the last 2 were horrendous?
But having watched it, I now think it is the best film of all of them. This prequel is just fantastic. Very well acted by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender (I have met both, McAvoy is really small but very nice and Fassbender is really hot but has very yellow teeth).
The story plays out really well and now the other films make more sense. It really is blooming marvellous.
Go and watch it yeah?
I didn't enjoy the third film in the trilogy as much as the first one, and the Wolverine prequel is absolute tosh. Almost like they couldn't afford to make the film after paying for Hugh Jackman's salary.
I watched the trailer for X Men: First Class and was instantly turned off. Why would I want to watch another X Men film when the last 2 were horrendous?
But having watched it, I now think it is the best film of all of them. This prequel is just fantastic. Very well acted by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender (I have met both, McAvoy is really small but very nice and Fassbender is really hot but has very yellow teeth).
The story plays out really well and now the other films make more sense. It really is blooming marvellous.
Go and watch it yeah?
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Attack the Block
You may or may not know, I am a big fan of Adam and Joe. I have followed their careers from The Adam and Joe Show to their regular Saturday radio show on BBC6 Music. They style of humour suits me to a tee. Funny middle class men using their slight poshness to make us laugh, what's not to laugh at?
Last year, Joe embarked on an great journey to direct his first film. All the filmic influences he has had over the years all rolled into a neat little film about an alien attack in a South London block of flats. Genius I shouted. Its about time we got a films set in a real London location. Where real people live, not like stupid Notting Hill. I expected his comedy would shine throughout the film.
I saw it last Thursday and can't tell you how excited I was. The great Cornballs debut feature. I mean, he was also writing the Tintin script for Spielberg, this has got to be good.
After about 20 minutes in I realised a few things:
There was no humour: Not one joke, quip or witty line. The kids cast were great but I didn't see the point of what was happening.
The story seemed aimless, the female character seemed to forgive her vicious attackers within seconds.
And then there was the aliens. Dudes in furry black suits with illuminated teeth. Scary = no.
The film stopped and started with no point, no reprimanding of the bad kids, and all selling weed like no tomorrow. This script played like the kind of story a man writes when he has no experience of real tower blocks in London, the real ghettos.
The film never really reaches its crescendo and instead just flails miserably to its finish.
Joe Cornish is not ready to write and direct films. I think being around other writers and directors on Tintin will help to grow his talent. He obviously has something going for him.
Disappointed but not completely turned off, I am willing to stick around for a bit. But Corndog needs to shape his shit up.
Stephen!*
*Just coming...
Last year, Joe embarked on an great journey to direct his first film. All the filmic influences he has had over the years all rolled into a neat little film about an alien attack in a South London block of flats. Genius I shouted. Its about time we got a films set in a real London location. Where real people live, not like stupid Notting Hill. I expected his comedy would shine throughout the film.
I saw it last Thursday and can't tell you how excited I was. The great Cornballs debut feature. I mean, he was also writing the Tintin script for Spielberg, this has got to be good.
After about 20 minutes in I realised a few things:
There was no humour: Not one joke, quip or witty line. The kids cast were great but I didn't see the point of what was happening.
The story seemed aimless, the female character seemed to forgive her vicious attackers within seconds.
And then there was the aliens. Dudes in furry black suits with illuminated teeth. Scary = no.
The film stopped and started with no point, no reprimanding of the bad kids, and all selling weed like no tomorrow. This script played like the kind of story a man writes when he has no experience of real tower blocks in London, the real ghettos.
The film never really reaches its crescendo and instead just flails miserably to its finish.
Joe Cornish is not ready to write and direct films. I think being around other writers and directors on Tintin will help to grow his talent. He obviously has something going for him.
Disappointed but not completely turned off, I am willing to stick around for a bit. But Corndog needs to shape his shit up.
Stephen!*
*Just coming...
Monday, 16 May 2011
Tell No One
I can't tell you how wonderful this film is. French films always have a lyrical sense to it.
Stunning and intriguing, a book adaptation (although not read the book) that speaks well on film.
Its rare I find a film that pleases me in every way, makes me truly happy, scared, and sad. I end up thinking about the film for days afterwards. It effects me in such away that not many films do.
The story plays out like reality, as in I can't believe what I am seeing and I want to keep watching through my fingers. And when the climax of the film happens, I am in floods of tears, unable to control my emotions. Guillaume Canet, beautiful French dude from The Beach, makes his directorial debut with Tell No One (Ne Le Dis A Personne). And my what a great debut it is. Another director to watch.
The French know how to show love in many ways.
I need to get me one of those ;)
Stunning and intriguing, a book adaptation (although not read the book) that speaks well on film.
Its rare I find a film that pleases me in every way, makes me truly happy, scared, and sad. I end up thinking about the film for days afterwards. It effects me in such away that not many films do.
The story plays out like reality, as in I can't believe what I am seeing and I want to keep watching through my fingers. And when the climax of the film happens, I am in floods of tears, unable to control my emotions. Guillaume Canet, beautiful French dude from The Beach, makes his directorial debut with Tell No One (Ne Le Dis A Personne). And my what a great debut it is. Another director to watch.
The French know how to show love in many ways.
I need to get me one of those ;)
Hanna - handy with a Spanner and other weapons.
Went to see Hanna last week. I didn't really know much about it, had seen the trailer only once and already had preconceived notions about it. Young person trained to be a killer from a young age, to be a fighting machine. Bred as a clone to create a new army of fighters.
Fair enough, action story with savage young female lead. Thriller by numbers, right?
Wrong.
This film not only entertained me but surprised me. Sharp, savage, funny, political and camptastic.
I found the story riveting, the casting perfect, and Ronan's acting sublime. I think it could have been a little shorter, but in saying that it was beautiful. Blanchett is well cast as the villain, with those steely eyes and porcelain skin, she even scares me a bit.
Saorse Ronan is one to watch. Yes she did a duff film in The Lovely Bones, but you couldn't fault her acting. It was the rest of the film that was shit. Atonement is one of my favourite films of all time, and her casting in that film is what set her apart from all child actors these days. She will stick around and keep acting.
Just Fabulous. Go and watch it folks.
Fair enough, action story with savage young female lead. Thriller by numbers, right?
Wrong.
This film not only entertained me but surprised me. Sharp, savage, funny, political and camptastic.
I found the story riveting, the casting perfect, and Ronan's acting sublime. I think it could have been a little shorter, but in saying that it was beautiful. Blanchett is well cast as the villain, with those steely eyes and porcelain skin, she even scares me a bit.
Saorse Ronan is one to watch. Yes she did a duff film in The Lovely Bones, but you couldn't fault her acting. It was the rest of the film that was shit. Atonement is one of my favourite films of all time, and her casting in that film is what set her apart from all child actors these days. She will stick around and keep acting.
Just Fabulous. Go and watch it folks.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Confusing Commuters on the Central Line, one sticker at a time...
My new fave site. I use the Central Line on the tube daily. Its hot, sweaty and full of tourists.
These clever peeps decided it would confuse the fuck out of everyone, one sticker at a time....
These clever peeps decided it would confuse the fuck out of everyone, one sticker at a time....
Enjoy!
Monday, 2 May 2011
Osama-lama ding-dong
Osama Bin Laden found and killed, then thrown in the sea.
Yep, you read it right. Seriously, they paraded Saddam Hussein around until he was the shadow of the Dictator we all knew him to be then hung him with so little security that youtube videos appeared of his horrendous hanging.
And yet, they are able to attack and shoot dead Bin Laden and then offer him up to countries that don't want him, before throwing him in the sea. All in 24 hours? And where is the evidence he was caught? Why the secrecy America? This 'man' has plagued this world with such ferocity for over 20 years and yet you kill him and 'throw him in the sea' without so much of a photo?
All smells like bullshit to me, but I guess we will never know.
Yep, you read it right. Seriously, they paraded Saddam Hussein around until he was the shadow of the Dictator we all knew him to be then hung him with so little security that youtube videos appeared of his horrendous hanging.
And yet, they are able to attack and shoot dead Bin Laden and then offer him up to countries that don't want him, before throwing him in the sea. All in 24 hours? And where is the evidence he was caught? Why the secrecy America? This 'man' has plagued this world with such ferocity for over 20 years and yet you kill him and 'throw him in the sea' without so much of a photo?
All smells like bullshit to me, but I guess we will never know.
A Right Royal Knees-up
A Royal Wedding to end all Royal weddings.
I remember Diana and Charles' wedding, although being only 2. It lasted a long time and I wore a very cute Princess dress for occasion.
Fergie and Andrew's wedding was less interesting to me, I barely remember any of it apart from her flame coloured hair.
William and Kate's wedding has been in planning for 7 months. I ignored it mostly and some days even forgot. The day began to loom on me and I pushed it out of my mind even more. I mean, is there any point in having cameras outside Buckingham Palace the week before looking at Royalist camping outside to be first in line to see the new Royal couple?
However as the day approached, I got more and more excited. Wills and Kate seem like lovely people. Whatever anyone ever said about Diana, she was only ever nice to me while I was growing up and her sons were equally as lovely too.
The monarchy has taken a battering over the years and many have lost respect for them. I being one of those people that doesn't see the point of them and doesn't believe in so called 'blue blood'. But I got completely caught up in the romance of it all. They look like they are so much in love. The whole event was so beautiful and stunning, I found myself wanting it to go without a hitch. It seems rare to find true and real love these days and I hope they continue to love for as long as they live.
I think we all secretly want to be that woman, who is plucked from the masses and steals the Princes' heart. To live that long and happy life full of love and romance.
That wedding day re-instilled all of those hopes and dreams I had lost through out the wear and tear of my life. Perhaps my Prince is real after all...?
I remember Diana and Charles' wedding, although being only 2. It lasted a long time and I wore a very cute Princess dress for occasion.
Fergie and Andrew's wedding was less interesting to me, I barely remember any of it apart from her flame coloured hair.
William and Kate's wedding has been in planning for 7 months. I ignored it mostly and some days even forgot. The day began to loom on me and I pushed it out of my mind even more. I mean, is there any point in having cameras outside Buckingham Palace the week before looking at Royalist camping outside to be first in line to see the new Royal couple?
However as the day approached, I got more and more excited. Wills and Kate seem like lovely people. Whatever anyone ever said about Diana, she was only ever nice to me while I was growing up and her sons were equally as lovely too.
The monarchy has taken a battering over the years and many have lost respect for them. I being one of those people that doesn't see the point of them and doesn't believe in so called 'blue blood'. But I got completely caught up in the romance of it all. They look like they are so much in love. The whole event was so beautiful and stunning, I found myself wanting it to go without a hitch. It seems rare to find true and real love these days and I hope they continue to love for as long as they live.
I think we all secretly want to be that woman, who is plucked from the masses and steals the Princes' heart. To live that long and happy life full of love and romance.
That wedding day re-instilled all of those hopes and dreams I had lost through out the wear and tear of my life. Perhaps my Prince is real after all...?
Monday, 25 April 2011
Raise the Roof Kenya
A friend of mine set up a charity after a trip to Kenya to raise money and help the kids that live on a landfill area there, who live in extreme poverty, with no access to schooling and even clean water at times.
Raise the Roof was set up to help those kids, to give them a little joy in an other wise intense life. To give them the childhood they crave and deserve.
Please go to www.raisetheroofkenya.com and see the good work Holly is doing there. Donate to your hearts content.
You can also buy a fab wristband in support for only £1! Cheap as chips.
Wristbands modelled by Moi. Only £1!
I just donated a ton of Bras to her too. They need even the things we take for granted. If you wish to do more or be more involved, do email Holly via the website.
Raise the Roof was set up to help those kids, to give them a little joy in an other wise intense life. To give them the childhood they crave and deserve.
Please go to www.raisetheroofkenya.com and see the good work Holly is doing there. Donate to your hearts content.
You can also buy a fab wristband in support for only £1! Cheap as chips.
Wristbands modelled by Moi. Only £1!
I just donated a ton of Bras to her too. They need even the things we take for granted. If you wish to do more or be more involved, do email Holly via the website.
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Summer Lovin
Ah Spring Fever. I comes around every year and every year it surprises me.
It shouldn't surprise me, I know its coming. But when you hear stories of couples breaking up in early Spring, you can't help but feel how fragile this life is.
Relationships also follow seasonal patterns. The moment Spring hits, women and men become sexier. FACT. Everyone begins to walk with a strut of confidence that has been in hibernation for a while over winter, and now they are born anew.
What happened to just wanting to see how things go and nothing to do with seasons?
It's sad that there are so many fair weather daters out there.
It shouldn't surprise me, I know its coming. But when you hear stories of couples breaking up in early Spring, you can't help but feel how fragile this life is.
Relationships also follow seasonal patterns. The moment Spring hits, women and men become sexier. FACT. Everyone begins to walk with a strut of confidence that has been in hibernation for a while over winter, and now they are born anew.
What happened to just wanting to see how things go and nothing to do with seasons?
It's sad that there are so many fair weather daters out there.
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